Congratulations, universe, you win.
I’ve always been against the crusades of school districts to stamp out obesity. In theory, it seems like a good idea. A lot of these kids don’t have healthy diets, and whatever they’re eating at home doesn’t seem to be helping. However, when you tell me that I can’t buy soda or candy in a school vending machine, that’s crossing the line. I was brought up on a healthy diet, I’m a healthy weight, and most importantly, I know my limits. Buying a candy bar in school did not lead me to want to devour an entire bag of fun size Snickers. In fact, I think most of the clubs in my high school would have been absolutely sunk without the wonderful ability to traipse around with a Ziploc bag of candy to sell to friends. I don’t believe the schools should be punishing those children who do know how to balance their diet because some kids have been taught that eating Big Macs five times a week is a good idea.
So Michael Sheridan bought Skittles from a friend. It was a little bag. When his dirty deed was caught, he was suspended, his invitation to an honors dinner was revoked, and he was told that he could no longer be the vice president of his class. First of all, congratulations to Michael for being an honors student and vice president, I’m pretty sure a smart kid like that isn’t selling drugs out of his locker (or worse, M&Ms). Really? Has the problem of child obesity come so far that buying a bag of Skittles from your friend on school property leads to suspension and being stripped of an elected office?
But I like you, Michael Sheridan. According to the AP article, you didn’t know that buying candy was against the rules but you did notice that the kid selling them seemed “secretive”. I honestly can’t blame you for assuming you would be allowed to purchase a taste of the rainbow without such strict repercussions. Of course, your horrible punishments were later revoked, and this won’t be going on your permanent record. Which is good, otherwise I might have had to call your principal in your defense. All you wanted was a bag of Skittles, and you ended up in a world of trouble. How backwards. I hope that your first action as re-instated vice president of the 7th grade is to create a motion to abolish this unfathomably silly rule.
I think the real winner in this entire thing was Mars. I mean, when was the last time Skittles were in the news or received any kind of attention outside of television ads? I know you’ve got at least one person craving those teeny pieces of colorful goodness after reading this story, and that’s one more person than you had before Mr. Sheridan’s mother was told her son was suspended for buying candy.
Picture courtesy of CNN.com.
